Saturday, December 26, 2009

And The Myth Goes On...

Seeing as how I don't believe in fairytales of any sort, I've already told The Duchess that Santa is a bunch of hooey. Of course, I put it to her in more p.c. terms than that, but the message was clear.

Poor sweet girl. For the past month her head has been filled with Christmas movies on television, all of which feature Santa and or Mrs. Santa, pictures of chubby elves peering off every advertisement and songs about Jolly Old St. Nick being piped over the Muzak system in every store. She just can't quite reconcile what I've told her with the reality of seeing the fat bearded man at the mall holding children on his lap and looking quite obviously like Santa. She knows I've never lied to her, but she SEES him with her own eyes for hell's sake!

So I continue to play along and label her Christmas gifts with tags that read, "To: The Duchess, From: Santa." Rudolph gives her gifts, as well as Buddy the Elf and Vixen and Mrs. Claus are very generous as well.

As is tradition in our house on Christmas morning, Daddy reads the tag and hands the gift to the appropriate beaming recipient.

Daddy: "To The Duchess from Mrs. Claus!"
The Duchess: *squeal!*
Daddy: "To The Duchess from Donner!"
The Duchess: "Oh my gosh!" *squeal!*
Daddy: "To The Duchess from Buddy the Elf!"
The Duchess: "Buddy?!" *squeal

So on Christmas morning as The Duchess was nearing the end of unwrapping the ginormous pile of gifts bestowed upon her by various reindeer, elves and members of the Claus family, she looked at me and said, " go get the presents that you and Daddy got me!"

Mmmm hmmm. Those damn fairytales will screw you over every time.


ellen abbott said...


Linda Rae said...

I waited until the little person came to me and said something like --is Santa real? or some such. My answer was --what do you think? They unanimously replied that they thought it was dad and I. To that, I just smiled, winked and asked them not to tell the little ones--and that they could help us. That seemed to work. They were around 5-6 usually. It didn't diminish their joy (as you found out) and yet I didn't lie to them when asked a direct question.

lakeviewer said...

Oh, she's too smart for you. Enjoy.

@eloh said...

I would have told her you had to give all your gift money to Buddy and Rudolph.. cause they spent all theirs on beer. No wait... I'm just no good at explaining to kids.

Bet you'll have your name on one next year! hahaha

Aunt Juicebox said...

ROFL My daughter was MAD when she found out, but in the face of not getting gifts, she was forgiving.

Reya Mellicker said...


Since I'm Jewish I never had to deal with believing in Santa. What a relief. Have you seen Very funny!!

Happiest 2010 to you!!

Wendy said...

More! More! We want more!