Have you ever stopped to contemplate how much of our lives we spend waiting for things to happen? I haven't actually tallied it up, but it's a LOT.
I suppose there's some determination of character found in the spaces between the waiting. My character is still being formed. I haven't quite perfected the art of The Wait.
Wednesday I made the drive to Scottsdale to take care of pre-registering for my surgery and getting all of the pre-op lab work done, only to find that my surgery was getting postponed until March 7th.
Suddenly, the anxiety that I'd been feeling about having the surgery turned into frustration and disappointment. I had set my mind on February 20th and that was what my brain was prepared for. But now...I wait.
I ate two cupcakes tonight. Now I feel horrible. Not just sugar high/sugar crash horrible, but emotionally horrible. Those cupcakes were Frustration and Disappointment.
You see how I have some character building to do?
2 comments:
Amy, you may have eaten frustration and disappointment, but at this very moment, your body is doing with them what they deserve--stripping them of their lovely sugary veneer and transforming them into what they really are--"waste" of time...
Amy,
Give yourself permission to feel and want and squander. What does all that self-control do? It measures us too stiffly.
Living is about testing our possibilities.
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