Reba, Dolly...Are You Out There?

There is a notebook I've been keeping for years and it contains all of the previously discussed crappy poetry I've written over the years as well as other random pieces of paper that I've thought interesting enough to hang on to.

Since our move from Texas to Arizona last year, I haven't looked at The Notebook. I dug it out to start finding some of the crappy poetry and I found a piece of paper that made me laugh out loud.

Now remember...I am absolutely not a lover of country music in any way. I pretty much get nauseated when I hear it. So, imagine my shock to run across country music lyrics written by none other than, moi'. No...really.

It's hysterical to me. Every time I hear a country music song I carry on about how whiny and pathetic it is and tell my husband, "Oh, my gosh! Someone needs to put her out of her misery!"

So, there you have it. When I checked the date at the bottom of the page of lyrics, it revealed that I'd put my misery down on paper one month prior to getting divorced.

Reba, Dolly, Dixie Chicks...if you're out there, pull up a chair and grab a beer so you'll have something to cry into and get a load of this piece of work:

Losin’ You
(Divorce done country style)

I’ve been told I’m crazy but I don’t believe it’s true.
I’ve been cheated on and lied to and it’s all been done by you.
I’ve been pushed around and put down, I’ve got boot prints on my soul,
But you’re not gonna keep me down, it’s time for me to go.

(Chorus)

I’m gonna lose you and find me and never turn around
I’m gonna break free and you’ll see that I can’t be kept down.
So step aside and let me by I’m goin’ out that door.
The woman in me has finally seen you’re not the man I was lookin’ for.

You’d almost convinced me I wasn’t worth a dime.
That I wasn’t pretty anymore and that I was past my prime.
I came close to givin’ up on ever turnin’ heads my way,
But all that changed in the check out line and it’ll never be the same,
‘Cause a cute young thing was checkin’ me out and askin’ me my name.

(Chorus)

I’m gonna lose you and find me and never turn around
I’m gonna break free and you’ll see that I can’t be kept down.
So step aside and let me by I’m goin’ out that door.
The woman in me has finally seen you’re not the man I was lookin’ for.

Now I don’t want a guy half my age, I don’t want a man at all,
But it sure was nice to catch the eye of a stranger dark and tall.
I realized that I’m not the girl I thought I used to know.
That girl wouldn’t have stood a minute for the bull you like to throw.
So I’m gonna get to know her again. I’m packed, it’s time to go.

(Chorus)

I’m gonna lose you and find me and never turn around
I’m gonna break free and you’ll see that I can’t be kept down.
So step aside and let me by I’m goin’ out that door.
The woman in me has finally seen you’re not the man I was lookin’ for.

I'm going to start work on my Grammy acceptance speech. What ever shall I wear?!