Sunday, March 15, 2009

Petits Morceaux de Moi, Part III

Fellow Blog Friend, Reya, wrote a post the other day that really resonated with me. If you haven't read her blog yet, you really need to get on over there. Not only are her blogs incredibly insightful but her pictures are fantabulous. You can find her at The particular post I'm referring to is called, "What Not to Wear."

While I was reading this post, it really struck me that we do indeed take on different personas throughout our lives. At least, many of us do I think. It probably took me until I was about 35 to finally find the "costume" in which I was comfortable and happy. It also made me think about the choices we have in our lives. As adults, we have the power to choose which costumes or personas we will wear. We have the ability to shed those things which have led to discomfort or unhappiness and keep those that uplift us and bring us joy. We don't have to conform or fit into any costume forced onto us by others. We don't have to impress. We get to choose who we will be and what face we choose to present to the world as "Me." Quite a liberating thought, isn't it?!

Anyway, it made me think about a poem that I wrote while I was going through a terrible time in my life. The only thing not terrible about this time was that it was the beginning of the end of wearing a costume in which I was horribly uncomfortable.


She is your friend-
Sometimes failing you miserably, as friends sometimes do, but loving you always and watching out for you. Ready to help at the drop of a hat. You've only to ask.

She is your wife-
Occasionally nagging until you shut your ears to her, but longing with wifely desperation that you'll never shut your heart.

She is the mother of your children-
Cleaning and bathing and cooking and washing and kissing wounds that will go away with a little care, and crying over the wounds she knows will never heal.

She is your lover-
A maturing version of the girl you fell in lust with years ago. Still longing to be chased and wooed and to be kissed in that spot behind the ear that leaves her weak in the knees.

All these things she is-
But if you look closely, you will see there is more than meets the eye. There… beneath the surface…look.

Do you see her?
The wild at heart, half-naked, barefoot jungle girl who dances around fires in the moonlight? The girl who laughs and lives out loud? Who loves with reckless abandon and who gives her all, asking only that in return? The girl who is part water, part sand, half goddess, half child?

Do you see her?
Can you find her somewhere beneath the layers of "office casual" clothes? Of defrosting chicken? Of baths, bedtime stories, vacuuming, ironing, budgeting, fighting?

Look closely-
If you tilt your head just right, you can see her in the morning just before the sun comes up. She will be lying next to you, eyes closed, looking very much like your wife.

Listen carefully-
Put your ear against her lips and you just may hear the sound of ocean waves crashing against the sand, and of a girl laughing in a far off place.


Andrea said...

Isn't it amazing that as women, we play so many different roles? But, deep inside, we are always that "wild at heart, barefoot jungle girl!" This is beautiful!

lakeviewer said...

There is so much more than we see and feel and sense. And yet, when we try to talk about all that, the words fail us.

Amy said...

Thank you, Andrea! Much appreciated.

Lakeviewer: Yes! It's true. I wish I were much better with words. Sometimes I find myself completely unable to articulate what's inside my head.

I also just read a post by Blogger Friend, Angela AFTER I wrote this post and she also mentioned how Reya's blog inspired her to think about our costumes/roles. So, I also owe Angela a thank-you and a nod as her blog came before mine! (I've just been delinquent in staying on top of my reading!)

It's wonderful how we are learning from each other!

lakeviewer said...

WITH ALL the ability to connect around the world, we could spend years trying to match our interests and find soul mates. Here we are, BIRDS of a feather, running together.
Our words and phrases act as key components.

One day, a smart cookie will write a PhD on this phenomenon.
We'll call it the "uncensored" connections.

Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Angela said...

Dear Amy, I didn`t find time to read blogs these last days, but now I found yours! How lovely and true is your poem! I was always afraid that this would happen, too. That I would lose my jungle girl-inside that likes to climb trees and behave like an untamed animal. But I think I never did, even when the outside world asked different things from me. It is up to us to wear the costume we like, even when we have to hide it underneath a business- or mother suit for a while.

Yes, you are right, Reya writes inspiring posts, but they only ring within us because we share the same feelings! Rosaria, it seems to me that we find many soul mates in this blog land!! I have!!

Angie said...

I really enjoyed your poem Amy - as well as the website you gave us a link to.

I'm remembering now something I read once that said we should always keep a picture of ourselves from when we are about 9 or 10 around so that we will never forget that part of ourselves - because 9 or 10 is the last time in most girls lives when they are free and uninhibited, and unwilling to bend to other people's expectations of them. So now I keep a picture of myself from when I was that age on my bookshelves, right where I can always see it.

Reya Mellicker said...

Wow this is BEAUTIFUL and so powerful. Wow.


In my own life sometimes it takes cataclysmic events to get me out of old outfits that no longer fit. I wish I could learn "the easy way" but I never do. I just never do. Maybe next time.

Amy said...

Thank you all! (Stop it, you're making me blush...)

Angela: Thank you! I think it's marvelous how we all are able to connect through our writings.

Angie: I LOVE that idea!

Reya: Coming from you, that means so much. I admire your writing immensely, so thank you, thank you!

Carolyn said...

Thank so much for sharing. Why is it so hard to find that "jungle girl" in us and if we are lucky enough to find her why are we denied her? Finding her sometimes means loosing everything....
Lovely blog, I will be back.

Linda Rae said...

My costume was torn from me, and I was left uncovered as well as injured.

The costume hadn't actually fit very well--like a Haloween costume--and I was uncomfortable with most of it. The "mom" part was all I loved.

For a long time, I didn't know how to cover myself back up or what to cover myself with. Then finally I just gave up trying.

I would love to know what my real costume is - my own - the whole thing - one only I had decided upon. Does anyone really decide for themselves?

Amy said...

Carolyn: Thank you so much for stopping by! I truly appreciate your comment and hope to see you again.

Linda: Yes. I do think we get to choose. Ending up in the costume we're at ease in is a process of taking things off and putting things on and seeing what suits us best. Sometimes we suffer rips and tears and stains, but we don't have to let those define our final costume. We can patch those places and sew on a few jewels here and there until we finally are able to look in the mirror and say, "This is ME, and I am beautiful!"