Wednesday, January 21, 2009

More Randomness

Lately it seems as though my mind is stuck in some sort of ADD mode and I can't seem to focus on any one thought for too long. I've sat down to write a couple of things and then ended up hitting "save" to come back to them later. This experience is new to me. I'm a finisher of things.

So, in light of this development, I'm giving my brain a break. I'm going to just purge what's in it and see if getting some of the cobwebs out from between my ears helps the situation any.

*Jesus auditioned on American Idol last night. He had a pleasant enough voice which was suited more for a church choir than America's Next Big Thing. After some serious pleading and embarrassing begging before the judges, Jesus was told he was "going to Hollywood." Between you and me, Hollywood is no place for Jesus. He's going to get his ass kicked.

*President Obama and his First Lady looked smashing at last night's Inaugural goings on. I'm so happy that people such as these are the new representatives of our country. What will the world leaders think when they hear an American president speaking actual English?! They'll have to fire the Gibberish to English interpreters they've kept on staff for the past eight years.

*I just read an article online from Redbook about "Why Men Really Cheat." Nothing new...why did they waste the paper and ink? Men are basically ego driven and egos need constant care and attention. Begin paying more attention to the house, the kids, your own interests and the male ego suffers. Think of it as a pet. You have to pay a little attention to it every day and make sure to stroke it's little noggin affectionately as often as possible.

Eric was telling me yesterday about how his boss overheard him discussing with another manager about ways to save the company money and some new ideas he had, etc. When his boss made Eric aware of his presence, he smiled and said, "I KNEW you were the right guy for the job!" Eric was beaming inside when he told me. I was happy for him. I want him to be happy. But, selfishly, all I could think of is how I NEVER get praised in my line of work. line of work? Stay at Home Mother. There is no pay, no bonus program, no promotions, no thanks, no validation that you have indeed chosen the right profession and there are no super fancy yearly awards banquet in Vegas complete with a stay at the Palms and a couple of steak dinners. In fact, it's quite the opposite.

Lately, my four-year old is on an "I HATE you!!" kick. No matter how much I try to convince myself that this is merely a phase and to not take it personally, it's not very good for my ego. My tweenager's method of communicating to me just how fantastic she thinks I am as a mother is some serious eye-rolling and the frequent stomping of her foot accompanied by some irritating whining and the phrase, "OH MY GOSH!!!" My teenager basically either is on the phone, in his room, playing his PSII or a combination of all three. He communicates by telling me, "OKAAAAYYY!!" every time I ask him to do something.

And, through it all, I have to remember to stroke some one's ego so he won't feel unappreciated. Pardon me a minute while I scream into my apron.

*I've been reading a biography of Abraham Lincoln for awhile now. It takes some time for me to finish a book because I have to read in the spaces between Motherhood, and honestly...they're few and far between. Sometimes I'll literally read one paragraph and have to put my book down again. So far, not only has Abe been honest...he's been incredibly patient with me. To add to to the problem, I still haven't managed to break my habit of reading more than one book at a time. I have no idea why I do this. I think maybe it's because when I'm reading something brain intensive like a political biography or something scientific in nature, I have to really focus on it to get my brain to absorb it and my poor little Thinker Cells get fried. I have to then switch off with lighter fare in order to let my brain recuperate a bit. The lighter fare right now is Ray Bradbury's Dandelion Wine.

Why can I not write like this?! Every sentence is poetry and imagery and it makes me want to crawl between the pages and roll around in the words. The more I read, the more aware I become of my intellectual shortcomings. Stink.

*My throat is is constant agony here. Arizona sucks. Something here is slowly killing me, I swear. Between my left ear and throat, something is keeping a raging itch going and it's incredibly annoying. Allegra is barely keeping it corralled and Claritin just makes it laugh. The only thing that seems to soothe it at all is drinking warm stuff like hot chocolate. Even my sugar free hot chocolate is 70 calories a cup. I'm going to be itchy and fat if this keeps up.

*I'm worried about my surgery in February. My doctor seems to feel that he can lessen the pain with this surgery as well as improve the look of my shoulder, which quite frankly, is hideous. You would think I would be excited about the prospect, wouldn't you? Instead, I'm nervous and anxious about another surgery. I've been under the knife three times in the past couple of years and each time I think, "Okay...this one's gonna be the one that gets screwed up." Not to mention, I hate having to recover. I've said before that I thought I wasn't a good patient. This isn't true. I'm actually a very good patient and do everything I'm supposed to. I'm also extremely pleasant to doctors and nurses because I know their jobs suck. What I meant is that I hate being a patient. I have no patience for it.

*I was in the store the other day and overheard two women talking while looking through a rack of track suits. One of the women was saying, these things are the only clothes I have in my closet anymore. That's pathetic, isn't it?" I wanted to walk by and say, " IS pathetic."

When do married people lose sight of the fact that sexuality is a part of marriage and that sexual attraction, at least in part, is what brought them together? I'll bet that lady didn't attract her husband by wearing boyish track suits and no makeup.

Every day I get up, clean my house, get my daughter dressed and get in the shower. Every day, I put on something that is neat and clean and flattering. Most of the time it's a pair of nice fitting Levi's and t-shirt, but it's always something that's clean and neat and flattering. I style my hair and put on, at the very least, some eye makeup and color on my cheeks. This accomplishes two things: 1. I feel better about Me. If I have to run out to the store or the UPS guy shows up at the door, I feel presentable and unembarrassed about my appearance. 2. When my husband walks through the door at the end of his day, he sees his wife looking somewhat like the woman he fell in love with.(By the way...this is a goose/gander issue. Ganders, lose the gut and the five year old t-shirt...)

Making the effort and taking the time to look nice has that lovely double benefit of making you feel good about you and of making your spouse feel good about you. One of my "rules" of marriage is that if you want your spouse to find you attractive, then you have to make the effort to be attractive. Admittedly, some days it's a chore. In fact, some days it just feels like another chore to add to my list. But I'll tell you, it's worth it. My husband is very vocal to me and to others that he doesn't just love me to pieces, he thinks I'm hot.

Some flattering clothing and and a visit to the MAC counter will set you back a few bucks. Hearing your husband tell his friends he thinks you're "hot".....priceless.

I'm going to go take some medicine and hope I don't end up having to go to the doctor. I haven't found a family practice doctor I like here yet. Dr. Birkenstocks and Socks creeps me out and I'm going to replace him. In the meantime, I'll self medicate and complain a lot.


Linda Rae said...

I can never remember whether I'm the goose or the gander...

Amy said...

You're a goose. You're also a goose who is already living by the rule of keeping yourself attractive for your gander.

After reading this blog, my gander looks at me and says, "I have t-shirts that are five years old?!"

Pluck him.

Reya Mellicker said...

I'm so happy to "meet" you.

Blogs don't ever have to be cohesive. The spur of the moment, stream of consciousness aspect of blogging is a big part of its charm. So just write what's on your mind, as you have here.

I'm so sorry to learn that you've endured a bunch of surgeries. Yikes. Will have to dig deeper to find out why. I'm a massage therapist, my heart goes out to you and your poor shoulder, and your poor throat. What do you think of alternative therapies like acupuncture, massage, osteopathy?

The women who wear track suits need to be on What Not to Wear

Keep breathing. Take good care.

Reya Mellicker said...

Forgot to say, I read books slowly, one at a time, too. Years ago I realized I'll never read all the books I want to, so it's OK to slow down and enjoy what I am reading.

As a "thinker of things" you have to take time. Which bio of Lincoln are you reading?

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